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TO YOU, THE CAREGIVER

Do you know how special you are?
 
Cancer survivors (and we are all survivors!) need support, care and concern. But so do you, the caregivers!
 
As a caregiver, you may feel scared, weary and invisible. There may even be moments of anger and resentment. Some of you have given up careers to care for a loved one. Days may be filled with drains and  throw up pans, and sometimes you're  too tired to think. You are are the encouragers, expected to be cheerful even when when want to sit in a quiet corner and cry. You need the hugs, too, and you need the attention.
 
This is NOT selfish. No one begrudges the cancer survivor all the support and love they can find. At the same time, you need something, too. Sometimes you may long to cry out, "Please notice me!"
 
This page is for you, the caregiver. You are precious. You are important.
 
If you would like to share you own experiences with us, whether they are funny or uplifting or sad, please email us at contac@kamcancerconnection.org.
 
We hope that you will!
 
 
THE CAREGIVER
by Carrie
It's so very important to remember that the caregiver is often overlooked. They are normally totally exhausted from providing care, as well as trying to keep a usually horrendous schedule, while trying to help others deal with the impending loss and are unable to give into personal grief. They are simply too busy for breakdowns.
For me the lack of being able to hold/touch, let alone be physically close to my husband, was heartbreaking. It is so important to remember to touch, hug, and embrace the caregivers because these seemingly simple acts are ways to feel connected to others and often the person who has cancer has been the one providing the most intimate contact until that time. It's devastating and the caregiver feels very alone. 
 

 

RESOURCES ESPECIALLY FOR CAREGIVERS:
 
 
 
 
Book: You Want Me to Do What?    by Lynn Godwin
 
                  10 TIPS FOR THE CAREGIVER:                     
 
1. GET PLENTY OF REST - The caregiver's day is often exhausting. Find a way to get rest.
 
2. FIND A DIVERSION - Whether it's scrapbooking, reading, or any other special interest, it helps to have something to think about besides cancer and illness and drains!
 
3. REACH OUT - This is sometimes very difficult, but it's so important! The cancer survivor needs support, but so do you! Try to find someone to talk to, preferably someone who has been there. If you don't know anyone, go to the Internet. There are a number of forums where you can talk things out with others in your situation. It helps!
 
4. GET AWAY - Take a walk, have your hair or nails done. Even if you only have a few minutes, try to find some time to do something away from the house.
 
5. JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP - Check the phone book or even the Internet to see if there is a group in your area. The Cancer Society or nearest cancer center may be able to steer you in the right direction.
 
6.  EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT CANCER - turn to the Internet, to your doctor, to books. It can help to know what you are facing.
 
7. TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN HEALTH - Eat well, and has already been mentioned, get enough rest. You cannot adequately care for someone else if you are not yourself in good health.
 
8. WATCH FOR THE SIGNS OF DEPRESSION - (see below) If you think you may be entering into depression, see your doctor. He or she can help!
 
9. ALSO WATCH OUT FOR SIGNS OF BURNOUT - Taking care of someone, especially with cancer, can be exhausting. Taking care of yourself, again, is vitally important.
 
10. ACCOMPANY YOUR PATIENT TO DOCTOR VISITS - This can help both of you. Most doctors will welcome you, as it is easier for the survivor if he or she has someone else to listen. Write down questions you might have, and make note of the answers. (One funny incident, though, happened when I accompanied our daughter to a new physician. On the way out of the office, after the interview, the doctor grabbed my daughter and took her around the corner where he repeated all questions he had asked her!)

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION

 
[NOTE: If you have more than 3 or 4 of these symptoms, you may be suffering from depression, and you should talk to your doctor.]
 

Feeling sad, hopeless or helpless

Crying easily or for no reason

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

Feeling restless or agitated, or slowing down

Sleep problems – sleeping too much or not enough

Loss of energy, deep fatigue

Change in appetite

Significant weigh loss or gain when not trying to gain or lose

Problem remembering, concentrating or making decisions

Headaches, backaches or digestive problems

Recurring thoughts about death or suicide.