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A Hair Story
Chemo is not fun. Losing your hair is not fun. Throwing up is certainly not fun. But you can take positive steps to help all of that.
For example, the hair. To many (if not most) women, hair loss is the most devastating thing about cancer. One woman said she wasn't afraid of dying but was terrified of losing her hair! There are two ways you can handle hair loss: you can wait until it falls out on its own, or you can take command.
When our daughter Karen was told she would have chemo we made a joint appointment to get our hair cut really short. Then, when she was starting to lose hair, Karen had a head shaving party. We went to the home of her friend Meridith, along with the children, our son, and his roommate. One by one we took turns cutting Karen's hair. The children, both Karen's and Meridith's, also took their turns, and even Karen did a bit of the clipping. The shaving was left to Meridith.
There was a hard moment when Karen first looked in the mirror at her bald head. Then our son's roommate said exactly the right thing to erase Karen's tears.
A few days later, some of Karen's MOPS friends gave her a surprise hat party. You can't imagine the hats she received --- everything from cancer caps to a purple Cher wig! It was a wonderful time of laughter and love.
On Sunday Karen wore a hat to church. Our church has a time of greeting: at that time our pastor's wife came down from the choir, took Karen's face in her hands and said, "You are so beautiful!" I will remember that moment the rest of my life.
Very soon Karen got tired of hats and her wig. They were hot and uncomfortable. From then on, Karen usually went bareheaded. The wig ended up in the children's toy box.
The point of all this is that as a cancer survivor, you can take charge of so many things. And as a friend or family member, you can bring laughter back into the survivor's life. Even when the survivor is bald! |
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SCRAPBOOKING YOUR JOURNEY
Scrapbooking can be a surprisingly pleasant way to help a person walk through the difficult journey of cancer.
There are three important parts of therapeutic scrapbooking. Not all are essential, but the three together will make your scrapbook complete. These three elements are photographs, journaling and embellishments.
Photos are the most obvious part of scrapbooking. Scrapbook pictures do not have to be posed or professional. Often it is the unexpected moment that is most cherished.
Going through chemo? Don't be afraid to have someone take a picture of you, bald head and all. The hair will return, and this is part of your journey.
One of my most treasured pictures is a snapshot of our daughter Karen at Relay for Life. Karen loved the Relay for Life. We had just received our medals and were starting the Survivors Lap. In the picture, Karen's face is radiant with the glow of a championl. No posed photograph could come close to that!
The second element in scrapbooking --- journaling --- is where you can express in works your hopes, joys and fears. It can be a few words or as lengthy as a page: it's up to you. I have seen some amazing scrapbooks in which the journaling is short and to the point, and equally wonderful ones that are mainly journaling with only a few photos or mementos.
Journaling can be done by hand or by computer. You can also purchase great little booklets and pads with pre-written sayings. My personal preference is handwriting, regardless of how terrible your handwriting may be, because this is YOU. However, whatever you choose is fine. There are no rights or wrongs in scrapbooking!
The third element, embellishments, can dress up your scrapbook pages. The possibilities aqre endless. Keepsakes and momentos go well here, and I have heard it suggested that you clip a lock of your hair if you are losing it to chemo. I am forever running across flowers I've pressed to remember special occasions --- if only I knew WHICH occasions! How much better it would have been to press the flower then add it to a scrapbook page!
Keepsakes may be sweet, like a flower or ribbon. They may be funny. They may have meaning only to you. Anything can be used that can be glued to a page or placed in an envelope that is then affixed to the page.
Stores carry wonderful embellishments as well: stickers, sayings, flowers, brads, you name it.
So those are your three elements: photos, journaling, and embellishments.
Who knows what help your recorded journey might be to someone else walking through their own difficult experience? So gather your things together --- grab a scrapbook, somje scissors and acid-free glue, and get to work! Let scraqpbooking your journey through cancer work it's magic for you! | |
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KEEPING A JOURNAL
Whether you are a cancer survivor, caregiver, family member, friend, or just someone who wandered onto this site, journaling is for you.
Journaling has several purposes: first, it is both a release and a record for you. Did you keep a diary as child or teenager? Isn’t it great to go back and reread it?
A journal is also a legacy. Something to hand down to those who come after you, to understand your walk, to know you better.
Journaling is the world’s least expensive therapy. All you need is a notebook and a pen. You can use a beautiful and expensive leather bound journal, a journal from the dollar store, stationery, a notebook. Likewise, a pen can be expensive or a throw-away. It is up to you: it is the content that is important, not the looks. Of course, you can also use a computer. And some would prefer to write a series of letters to someone special (e.g., a spouse or child) to an actual journal.
I am blessed to have had a family that kept records. There are several treasures: letters written from my grandmother to my father when he was a young man, her own diary at the age 16, a trip journal kept by our now adult son when he was 7 years old. One of my treasures is a record of a trip to
Europe that my mother took with my grandfather and aunt many years ago; this is typed on onionskin, now fragile with age.
Journaling becomes even more important when you are seriously ill or serving as caregiver, or perhaps you are walking through cancer with a friend or family member. This is a journal of life. You can never know how it might help someone else along the way who is struggling with a similar walk.
Cassie Wells is a very special woman who has used personal loss to reach out to others. She writes: "After a loved one dies it is very normal to look for notes they may have left for us. Unfortunately the patients usually are way too sick to do that, so there is a disappointment in not finding something. My husband died on Christmas Eve and I still don't know why he didn't have someone make sure there was a final present for me from him. Selfish maybe, but it would have been a cherished memento."
Cassie has a website, Legacies of Love, on which she helps people write their oral histories as well as letters of love for special occasions. Her ultimate goal for the website is to help people leave a written legacy for those they leave behind. This is not just for seriously ill people, although that was her original intention, but is for anyone who wants to leave a legacy.
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Laughter Can Be The Best Medicine
by Ken Snodin
Research scientists have spent considerable time investigating the effects of laughter. They have found that laughter can help patients recover from illnesses because it tends to lower blood pressure, reduces stress hormone levels, and recharges the body’s immune system. Laughter is also known to release the body’s natural painkilling substances to provide an overall feeling of well-being. This is a result of stimulating blood flow and aiding the heart.
It has been said that laughter has about the same benefits as aerobic exercise, but it comes without the pain sometimes experienced with physical activity. Laughter also helps to control insulin levels and blood sugar levels, and while scientists don’t recommend that patients quit their diets or exercise regimens, they do say that laughing definitely helps. Doctors have discovered that laughter also has an effect on viruses, bacteria, cancer and heart disease. They determined that their patients boosted their immune systems just by watching funny videos and movies.
Laughter is one of the first things we learn as babies. Scientists note that babies who smile the quickest were smiled at more in general. If parents are happy and smiling, it is a given that the baby is likely to smile quickly as well. Much research on children has been performed, and scientists discovered that laughter helped with children’s ability to endure pain and was also effective in the healing process. This is a valuable discovery for young cancer patients. Laughing relaxed patients who had to have painful procedures or who suffered from the anxiety of pain expectation.
Researchers have found that there are many positive effects from laughter, but no known negative effects. Laughter really is the best medicine. Just thinking about something funny makes the hormones flow and the body has a positive and healthy response.
Experiencing stress without laughter reduces the ability of the body to fight disease because it suppresses the immune system. A stressed body can’t fight infections and other disorders. Your body responds to emotions and feelings, so it’s good to laugh and release all the positive effects related to laughter. Basically, the immune system is closely linked to the positives resulting from laughter. Laughing helps to fight disease.
Stress levels can be reduced through daily exercise and having good eating habits, and when laughter is added, things get even better. People who laugh a lot have reduced stress levels, and reducing stress is a major step in fighting disease. | |
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